Some Angels, Die to Live

I Ran Into The Letter You Wrote Me The Night You Left Us 3 Years Ago And I Remembered You Again My Dearest Angela With A Huge Smile This Time. I Miss You And The Friendship That We Once Shared, Even Though Your Last Days On Earth Was A Struggle between tears and pain. We Are Sure Heaven Is Where You Are Right Now Because That Is The Only Place That Befits An Innocent Angel Like Yourself. Watching The Way You Struggled Through Your Sickness Was Quite Painful. You Lived the Better Part of Your Life Abusing Drugs (Which Was Our Daily Joke) Because That’s What The Pains Subjected You To.

You Always Laughed At Our Every Mistake, Making It Seem Like It Was Okay To Make One. Who Else Could Tell The Sick At A Very Young Age That They Will Be Strong With So Much Confidence? Who Else Would Forgive Everyone With An Open Heart And Hand? You Believed In Everyone And Everything, You Believed A Breath Of Air, A Quench Of Thirst Or A Place To Rest Was Worth Living For Even In Our Weakest Or Faithless Moments.
The Three And A Half Months We Visited/Stayed With You For On Your Sick Bed Were The Longest And Saddest Moments Of Our Life’s. You Lost Every Ounce Of Fat You Had Ever Acquired, And Every One Who Was Around You Unconsciously Joined In The Weight Loss Program Solely Because The Face They Were Used To Seeing With A Large Smile Was Slowly Fading By The Hour But Still You Tried Your Best To Make Us Happy By Telling Us Funny Jokes Though This Time We Couldn’t Laugh As Loud As We Used To Because No One Wanted To Accept The Fact That In A Couple Of Months You May No Longer Be There To Tell Us The Same Stories.
I Almost Gave Up The Hustle Because My Life Was A Frustrated One. I Had Neither Steady Clients Nor Relationships Because No One Believed In My Dream, (I Wanted To Be The First Nigerian To Own A Modeling N.G.O Which Everyone Has Already But The Difference In Mine Was That All The Workers/Models Were Going To Be From Different Orphanages In The Country. The Whole Idea Was To Use That Avenue To Generate Something Positive For Them And To Also Enable The World See Them From A Different Point Of View), The Company Was Registered And An Office With A Staff Strength Of Ten Creative Young Orphans Was Accessible, A Profile/Business Plan Was Fashioned Out But Trying To Get Companies Who Where Interested In Media Advertising To Buy Into My Concept Was Like Trying To Pour Water Into A Well With A Basket. I Felt It All Falling Apart Before It Even Started Or So It Seemed And My Responsibilities Kept Pilling Up By The Hour Because I Couldn’t Keep Spending My Savings (Excluding Capital That Was Already Invested) On A Project. Something You Said To Me At The Doorstep Of One Of Our (Now Business Partners) Clients, When We Went To Introduce Our Ideas To The Management Of Their Orphanage Kept Pushing Me To Never Give In To The Failure Pangs That I Was Feeling In My Guts. I Don’t Know How You Knew What I Was Thinking And Feeling But You Pulled Me Aside And Said In Your Own Words ‘My Friend, If You Don’t Believe In This Bridge That You Are Building Like We All Do, Then There Is No Point Asking Someone Else To Cross It. You Have To Actually Believe That The Gap You Are Trying To Close Between This World (The Orphans) And The Other Is Really Worth It. I Know It’s A Risk In This Very Frail World That We Exist In But If You And Every Other Person Doesn’t Go Through This Discomfort To Make A Positive Change, Then We Will All Still Be As Stagnant As An Island. I Walked Into Several Other Meetings With Great Conviction Afterwards With My Faith And Hopes High. Today, I Can Proudly Say That I Am A Comfortable N.G.O Owner With The Staff Strength Of Forty Hard-Working Orphans, I am married with two children and yes, I adopted one and named her after you. How Else Can One Not Claim To Have The Steadiest Of All Jobs Again? I Finally Managed To Get Almost Every Company Interested In My Idea When They Discovered That It Was Another Way Of Reaching Out To The Needy While Meeting Their Set Goals Too And You (My Motivator) Are Not Here To Celebrate With Me. When The Doctor Said You Didn’t Have The Strength To Fight Anymore Because You Were Too Weak To, I Gave Up On Everything I Had Ever Believed In. I Didn’t Even Go On My Knees Or Look Up To The Sky For About 90 Days Because I Didn’t Want To Curse Or Cry. I Hated Every Religion That I Had Ever Known Because I Actually Called On Other God’s To See You Through, Since “The One” We Believed in Was Not Willing to Make You Better.

Still, You Called Me Aside And Made Me Vow To Always Have Faith In God Because He Was The Only Reason You Met And Changed My Life And He Is The Only One That Can Give And Take And You Are Sure He Is Taking You So He Can Give The World Something Better. I Cried The Night You Finally Gave Up The Ghost, I Didn’t Even Know I Still Had So Much Liquid In Me Because I Had Gotten Used To Crying For/With You But On This Day, I Cried Like A Child And I Only Stopped When I Got The Letter From Your Sister Some Hours Later. It Read:

I Am Gone, So What!!! Does That Mean You Should Cry Like A Child? Do Me A Favor, Don’t Give Up On This Dream Of Yours, Keep Helping The Less Privileged And Anytime You Do, Think Of Me, Smile And Move On Blubber-Face

I Just Read The Letter Again And I Smiled. I Have Helped And I Will Continue To Help Them Angy, I Should Launch My Orphanage Home In A Couple Of Month And I Named It After You. Some Angels Really Have To Die To Leave A Positive Mark In Our Existence.