Women and Marriage

A friend of mine once called me to inform me of her wedding plans. She had dated her boyfriend (now ex-husband) for so long that they thought the best thing to do was to settle down together (first mistake)…so she wanted to do something BIG (financially). She asked me to buy a textile which I was supposed to sew afterwards for myself as a guest to a venue ill have to take a cab to-an-fro for £100, I told her I could not and sincerely I didn’t. It wasn’t about the money(not entirely though), my annoyance came from the fact that I could just wear anything on that day and still the wedding would hold. Some months after the wedding she discovered that he had been cheating(which I am yet to understand the defination ‘relatinship-wise’) with someone else so she called it quits and walked out. She got married two years after to another guy she dated for nine months and she has never been happier( the wedding was quiet and financially low).

90% of the Single, Educated and Fashion conscious ladies fantasize about their wedding day so much that they forget about the reason they are to get married. Some think of what to wear, where to shop, their make up, friends, and other vain stuff that they forget to prepare for the marriage itself. A wedding is done just so people can see who you are betrothed to. Originally after the Lord has blessed a couples union via a man of God, the wedding can be considered valid.

The truth is this: Marriage begins when the wedding ends… A wedding can be done for days but the end result is usually for years. A woman must be ready to Tolerate, Respect and Condone the man she calls her husband. A woman should think of her husband as her father with a some difference.

Love does not always end in Marriage but ‘Like’ does end in it. Some fall in love after Marriage. Some fall out of love after Marriage, some fall in love outside their Marriage. Some people only have to live together for a while to realize they are not as compatible as they thought and some live together for a while and wonder how they have been surviving without the other partner.

Every woman is meant to be a friend, wife, mother and best friend to their husband and child(ren) but the positions don’t come easy. Sometimes men forget what they have, a woman’s duty is to remind him of who he is and why she loves him and not remand and imprison him in his home.

A lot of us base our decisions on what we have heard about other people in our situation. Just because he cheated once or cheats doesn’t mean he loves you less.
A Relationship/Marriage that involves cheating is like a restaurant, a man goes into it to eat his favourite meal “Rice” and then he realises that another person there ordered for fries and sausages, then the man starts thinking ” should I try that tomorrow”…even if he doesn’t know what it is going to taste like. Its left for the him to try it or any other meal that catches his fancy or he can just focus on the many ways of making his Rice more appealing to Him.

If we learn to forgive and continue respecting our spouse then we will have a happy life in the long run. Some men think getting married to a woman should be done for the woman’s sake but the truth is: Men are the ones who really need to get a wife.

Marriage is a very tough decision, its choosing someone special to you regardless of their flaws, language, religion, background, Someone you will always look up to for answers when the question gets tough, someone you can trust to succeed where you have failed, someone who will lift you up while laughing at you when you fall. Someone whose problems make you restless. But to find that person we must learn to ignore what we have gone through or heard in the past and be ready to embrace the future.

Everyone wants to marry a saint but the question is… How angelic are you? Marriage is giving up a lot just so you can get that one thing which will bring you something better than what was given up.

Marriage is for the wise and not the old. Its what distinct’s a boy from a man. Not every husband is a great father, but a woman can make her husband be something close to that.

In Marriage a woman must have or learn this basic things:

•Respect – No matter what he does for in the end he will appreciate you more.
•Tolerance – For he will always try to provoke you when he is angry but you must endure and smile.
•Trust – This often withers gradually like dry leaves when a partner cheats, but we must believe and learn to trust when they say they have stopped and they will never do it again. Its the most difficult to build and the easiest to break.
•Ignorance – Some of us always pry into our spouses private business. If he or she is keeping something from you that doesn’t affect your relationship then you should let it be. Ignore the zeal to search for evidences that may break wht you have been building for years.

Men are like children, they need attention, love, food, exercise, fun and rest because that’s the only way they can be productive.

So who is ready to get married?


11 thoughts on “Women and Marriage

  1. My dear friend, didn’t realise what a person u are until I read this article, more grease to your elbow! We will talk on bb. Cheers

  2. hmmm! Haleema! this is not bad at all. Didn’t know you keept a blog and i must say, i am quite impressed with how well written it is. I agree with alot of things you’ve said – you pretty much hit the nail on the head particularly about women’s fantasy about their wedding day.

    But i also think that alot of this goes out the window for a Muslim marriage especially when you’re the second or third wife. How tolerant, respectful and loving can you be when you know that your husband is ‘legally’ cheating on you under the same roof?? think about it…

  3. Well written and rightfully true…so women be tolerant and men well I reserve my comment on dat apart from to tell men to appreciate and respect their wives….saddiyya 5stars and thumbs up for u hope to read more educative stuffs like dis on ur blog…cheers

  4. Well spoken..didn’t know how far your talent are..Ǎ̜м̣̇ really impressed and i think a lot should be learnt from this

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