Continuity and Change

Published April 5, 2015 by saddeyya

i got a video from an unknown non whatsapp but I didn’t download it because I thought it was one of those viral videos about mass murder and all and those kind of videos scare and scar me for a while….

I ran into it a few days later and decided to download and watch with my brother and I cried.

Well not because I am a sisi, lol, but because it made me see how bad my country had suddenly deteriorated and I though it was cool to share it now with everyone of you.

What we want is something different from the regular. Something new. It may end up destroying or making us all in the end but for now, a Change is what we really need

Famous Anonymous…

Published February 21, 2015 by saddeyya


Our generation has finally accepted adultery, fornication and all forms of sexual acts in Nigeria as part of the “list” of the things we can’t fight but join others in practicing. We have given in to the idea of sex before marriage because it’s the only way to prove to our significant others that we care and love them truly, and deeply but then again, we have also abused that. We now see sex as a form of satisfaction or payment especially between a married man and a single woman. Some married women patronize younger boys too with the hope of getting sexual satisfaction from them only while the latter does it for the quid. The worst part are the ones who have friends with benefits. You know he isn’t interested in marrying you ever, yet you are willing to sleep with him whenever and wherever he calls for your body. Your body is not a public temple.
You meet a boy who shows interest in you Sexually by praising your looks and feminine features and you are fine with that. He takes you to different hotels, friends apartments or even his own house for just sex and small talks and you happily spread your legs like the wings of a dead bird. He sleeps with you consecutively with or without protection and you are forced to swallow morning-after pills like the mayor of a pharmacy. This same guy has other girls and you may even know his wife but that’s none of your business because good sex beats all form of morality. Then one day you get pregnant and you move from the adultery stage to the murderous phase. You realize you are too young, pretty, and ambitious for a baby so you take it out. And start all over again.
Some even end up falling in love with their shag buddies and then they start to cause trouble for them. You don’t expect anyone to take you serious after you have sold yourself as a cheap and cheerful product. I am not blaming anyone here because both parties are guilty of this act. If every woman keeps refusing the advances every man throws at her, he will realize the hard truth and buy more liquid soaps for his handwork.
The most unbelievable ones are the ones who decide to have unprotected sex, get pregnant and propose to keep the baby with the hope of luring the man to a certain kind of nuptial commitment. How do you reconcile that? I know some single mothers out there who took a risk and got served while some others took the same risk and got saved. I am not judging anyone but I think we can all curb our sexual appetites especially as a single person. I am not here to ask you to stop, no, no, it’s a phase and a huge level of discipline and prayers but if you must, do it for the right reason, with the right person and always with a condom (if you are not ready for a child).

Once Upon A Crime….

Published February 6, 2015 by saddeyya

See, I know a lot of you will judge me based on your pessimistic way of thinking but I’ll really appreciate it if you can patiently read through my story before collecting your SAN-PHD certificates.

I worked here for 10 good years. I grew into puberty here as in I wore my first “wrappad”(a piece of wrapper cut and folded like a colorful pad) and secondhand Bra in this house and no one, I mean, no one taught me how it was done. My parents died as a result of a car crash that happened and this woman came to my village for a wedding, heard about the unfortunate incident and decided to take me with her so she could reduce the burden on the nun who took my elder brothers and I in her custody. She chose me and I was excited. I was finally going to a city, I would see airplanes, big cars, ships, white people, and maybe I’ll also find a husband for myself too and start a family. I had plans to send money home too after a while so the good nun could use it for upkeep but I knew I had to work first and save money in my “gongomi”. I also heard her say she would ensure I continue my education in the city too. Yes, that was also part of my dreams too. I wanted to be a doctor, I wanted to save lives because my parents would have survived the crash had there been a good doctor in the clinic when it happened but there was none and the only available medical staff present was the mid wife and nurse who were busy birthing a Child. I lost my parents to the cold hands of death after a few hours to excessive blood loss and no formal medication save for the first aid treatment they had en route the hospital.” I”  had plans to become a better person too in life so “I” could help others, that was “my parents” plan. That was my plan. That, was the whole plan.

I got into the big city with my foster parents and I started with the kitchen first. I was the cleaner, the cook, the keeper, the queen of the store. I basically lived in the kitchen for the first 9months, she called it home training. Oh, bear in mind, that she had two daughters that were slightly older than I was but I guess their place was outside Nigeria, in one of the good and expensive schools. From the kitchen, my job migrated to the parlor and rooms when the main cleaner was sacked for sleeping off on Ogas favorite chair for the up tenth time in the parlor while he was cleaning. I became a cleaning cook. I cleaned and cooked the little I could for the drivers, gate man, laundry man, gardener and myself. Madam couldn’t cook our food because #housegirldaughteravailable….. My salary was N3000 per month but after the cleaner left, it was increased to N4,000. Madam gave me only N500 per month for credit to call home, she said she was saving the remaining for my school fees. That was an okay enough reason for me not to worry, at all.
Cooking started becoming easy for me because our meals were limited to this or that. Never this and that. Oh well, By the time I started my period, I was clueless as to what and how to go about it, I told madam and she said I should use wrapper that it was cheaper and easier to use. She bought me two yards of ankara and showed me how to wrap it. I was grateful, very grateful. I didn’t even know buying a sanitary towel was so affordable. The impression she gave me was “You’ll be doing this every month for the next 40 years or more, buying the foreign one will only eat into your fees. Or don’t you want to go to school again?” Ahhh, school, that was all that kept me going oh. Just knowing that I will be a doctor in the end was worth all the cooking and cleaning. I started trying to read some books and answering some questions on my own from the books her children brought back sometimes from school. I became a good reader and I perfected my writing. I was ready. 3years after, I still hadn’t started school and by my calculation I had saved over N100,000 which was enough to buy my uniforms, shoes, books and other necessary things to start attending the government school around the area. By then I was 15 years old. I already had my primary school leaving cert in the village so continuing in a high school was the next step
The time was nigh.
I approached madammummy subtly, reminding her of my wish to continue schooling and how much I think I had saved to take care of some of the necessary bills. She said she needed a help before I could start school because she didn’t think it was possible to work and school at the same time. I didn’t mind, I started asking around for a help for my madam, I asked around for about 2 years before madam finally found one by herself. I was over 17years old then and I still had plans for school and my savings was over N200,000, good good. MadamMummy enrolled me into the public school and I started from jss3 because I was too old to be in jss1. I caught up after the first term and I suddenly became one of the best student in my class. I aced almost all my subjects save for technical drawing and hausa. I represented my school severally in debates and every time I brought a gift home, madammummy will grudgingly say well done. I finished with a good result and I applied to study medicine in the University of Ibadan. My jamb score was high too and that helped me in securing the admission. But madammummy said it was better for me to spend a year at home first to save enough before furthering my education, seeing as all the money I had worked for was spend in my secondary education. It was a public school, remember. How does one spend over N300,000 in 4years + jamb and waec in a public school? I asked her politely to help me with the breakdown of how the money was spent so I’ll know what’s left and how to save for it….That was when my real Madammummy decided to show her true self….

Cowries and Dowries

Published November 30, 2014 by saddeyya

“My son, when last did you get a call for an interview from all your prospective employers?” Baba asked the young man sitting in front of him in his semi-scary shrine. Before the young man could answer, he raised a hand to silence him like one who was in a library and he nodded his head and said “avaniki vaholashi” (meaning, wonders shall never end). He scattered the cowries again and made some weird incantations, with his right hand, he picked three of the cowries tainted with blood and something brown and hairy, whispered into them and threw them inside the clay pot sitting on the small mat he sat on. He winced, mumbled more incantations and asked the young man to rebuke every evil that has been casted his way by circling his right hand over his head three times. Baba looked at the young man with a pitiful face and said “Your mother-in-law is against all of your progress, she doesn’t want you to succeed in anything you are trying to attain because she wants her daughter to stay barren and poor till she dies as she has sowed her life into her occult world.  The only remedy is for you to leave your wife but don’t worry, we will fix it. We will cast out any evil curse she has placed on you now. The young man desperate and scared of this new revelation began to cast and bind any form of evil in his life. He started to speak in tongues and with his eyes closed so he missed seeing Baba wince in pain at the words that were coming out of his mouth. Immediately he reached for the young man’s hands, he in turn automatically went mute and opened his eyes to listen to what Baba had to say, again. “Stop all these things you are saying, when you get home, you can do that but before then we have to offer sacrifices to the gods. We will buy a goat, 2 black cocks, 3 yards of red cloth, and the hair from a virgin girl. At the mention of a virgin, the young man’s expression changed and he was about to say a word when Baba raised a hand motioning him to listen as he touched his cowries again and threw them on his mat, around the clay pot. He closed his eyes, opened them and stood up immediately to go into another pouch that was hanging on the wall at the other side of the room. He brought out a gong and a rod, and some alligator peppers, chewed on it for some seconds, spat on the gong and hit it for some seconds before rubbing whatever he spat on the gong on his head. He went back to his mat, sat down opposite the young man before speaking. “Hmmm my son, this woman is very, very powerful. She doesn’t want me to help you at all. She said you do not give her money and you will not have a child with her daughter or even a good job. She said good things can only happen to you if and when she dies”. Hmmm “she is in a cult group that has given her a life of eternity and power”. The young man looked at the Baba desperately and started to weep. He hadn’t been able to say a word since because he didn’t know where to start from. Baba looked at him and finally asked “what did you do to your mother in-law that has made her hate you and despise you this much”? The young man reached for a handkerchief, wiped his tears, blew his nose and started to speak. “Baba, my mother-in-law is dead. She died before I met my wife. The only woman I know that my wife respects is her late mothers best friend, Aunty Shirley, because she was the one that trained her through the university and since her mother died, she has been like a mother figure to my wife. She doesn’t really like me because she said I am not looking after her daughter well so she always comes around every time to check on my wife. She seems harmless. Baba, are you sure of what you are saying?”
Baba looked at the young man in shock and made some incantations again mentioning Shirley’s name, he winced like he had just been hit on the face and then he looked up and asked the young man to leave his premises with a gesture of his hands. The young man stood there perturbed, he didn’t understand what Baba meant with the gesture so he moved towards the door. Baba didn’t move for about a minute, and when he eventually did, he reached for his stick, stood up looking frailer than he had when the young man walked in and he looked at the boy with a pitiful look and spoke in a faint voice “young man, I cannot help you, I am sorry, she is stronger than both of us. She is not listening to any of my pleas and she has refused any form of sacrifice from you or my gods. Go home, pray to the God you believe in. Pray my son, I do not know why she hates you so much but she is someone you know but I don’t think it is the name you mentioned earlier. Go. Go my son”. 
The young man walked out of the cubicle with his head down thus causing him to bump into his friend Stanley who was the one that led him to Baba’s place. He had totally forgotten about Stanley, his mind was booting and rebooting per second and he still had no idea what it was he was thinking of. He just knew that he had to get home to his wife. He needed some explanations and he wasn’t sure she had all the answers. His wife’s father died before his wife so he met her as an orphan. Things were rosy for him before they got married, he had 9-5 job that was enough to look after his family, both home and abroad. He had two good cars, a house, and he had friends or so he thought. His wife had no sibling, few friends and a small family who were not doing so bad for themselves, and an old nanny that had been with her family for years who moved n with them. He sponsored the whole wedding and the few family members he met from his wife’s family accepted him wholeheartedly. They were living happy for the first few months till Aunty Shirley came back to Nigeria. She started complaining about the way his wife looked and she kept hounding him to get her pregnant again barely two months after she lost the second pregnancy. He should have known she was the cause of his misfortune because that was when things started getting bad for him. He lost his job, sold his cars and replaced them with one small “tuke tuke”, he lost his supposed friends save for Stanley, a street hustler who he helped when he was trying to sell off his second car at the mechanics shop. Stanley helped him bargain for a good deal and he gave Stanley some money. They saw for a while afterwards because he was always going to the mechanics shop to fix one or two things in the new small car and they struck a friendship along the line. The only real property he had now in his name was his house. All this happened barely two years after they got married. He should have known she was his wife’s mother because why else will a single woman dedicate almost every day of her life for a girl who is only her late best friend’s daughter.
He drove home without even knowing it. Stanley kept trying to talk to him but he couldn’t hear a word of what he had to stay. He just knew they were voices around him but he couldn’t place a face to the voice or a name to the face. He drove into his compound and started screaming his wife’s name “Pat. Patricia. Patrici…” he didn’t complete the last call before she came out running into him. “Paul, what is it?” She looked at him, the car and Stanley who was standing by the passenger’s side of the door. After verifying that nothing physical happened to any of them she proceeded to asking him the question she usually does every time he comes back from a job hunt. “What happened? Have you gotten a job? Are we expecting a contract?” she said with a smile as she tried to hug him. He stopped her with his left hand and looked at her for some seconds before asking her in a low voice “Is Aunty Shirley your mother? Why didn’t you tell me that your late mother isn’t the one who birthed you? Do you know she is the cause of our misfortune? What other secrets have you been keeping from me Patricia?” she looked at him in amazement. It felt like she was seeing him for the first time in four years. She stifled a laugh and clapped her hands severally before resting them on her hips. “What are you talking about Paul? What is going on here? Are you okay?” she turned to look at Stanley, who immediately looked away but not before she caught the shock in his eyes too before asking as she walked towards him “Mr. Stanley, what’s my husband talking about? Where are you guys coming from” what happened to the both of you? Did you finally drag him to that Baba’s place that he has been telling me about? What’s going on here?” by this time she had reached his side and stood there, arms akimbo. Paul walked over to where they stood and narrated the whole story to them. As he got to the end of the story, his wife passed out.
She came to some minutes later after they had doused her with water and fanned her with a booklet. She looked around her for some seconds, recognized where she was and burst into tears. She cried nonstop. She cried like a child who was refused her favorite candy. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Her mother wasn’t her mother and her aunt who happened to be her real mother is the cause of their misfortune. She kept crying till Paul woke up. He looked at his pregnant wife sleeping, brushed some hair off her face and dropped a peck on her forehead. What kind of dream did he just have? He walked to his Window and saw his cars parked in their usual spot with his dogs by the tyres, sleeping. He checked his phone for the time and noticed a mail had dropped too, it was only past 3 in the morning, he still had a couple of hours to sleep before getting ready for his trip. He was representing his company in Germany for their quarterly meetings the next day and his flight was scheduled to leave by noon from Nigeria. He wanted to ignore the mail but curiosity got the best of him. It was a mail from his boss with an attachment. He opened the attachment and his heart did a triple flip. It was a sack letter, his direct bosses were involved in a scam and their foreign partners found out and withdrew their 70% stake from the company.
Patricia woke up to the loud bang from her husband’s fist hitting the dressing table. She walked to him in her sleepy eyes and hugged him from behind. “What’s the matter honey?”. He looked at her, who handed his phone to her and walked over to the foot of the bed to sit. She read…..Screamed and “passed” out bleeding

The Midnight Storm…

Published August 21, 2014 by saddeyya

The straff wasn’t as wow as she expected, she tried using all the toys at her disposal but she still wasn’t feeling her partner. The make-out was ewww… boring to a fault. She couldn’t stand the thought of her partner running anything through her body one more time. “Is this what happens when your whole life suddenly crumbles”? She had never felt so confused before in her life, was she heartbroken? Hmmm. She intentionally drank and got high earlier on in anticipation of “this” before the sudden knock on her door. She stood there, prepared for what was to come next but her mind was blown out of her body when she opened the door to a guest she wasn’t expecting, ever. Yes, her expected partner was with her now, doing things to her body as always but she was not feeling it anymore. She feigned an orgasm and went into the bathroom to wash up, think and reevaluate her life, all over again.
She wanted someone else, no, she needed someone else, She needed someone she has always had and taken for granted, back in her life. She needed a real man, OMG!!! She didn’t believe she just thought that in her mind. A man, a real man with a real instrument of pleasure and satisfaction, not this colored toys she had at her disposal, always. She finally got a French kiss from a real man and he left her wet and wanting. She thought her partner was going to satisfy the urge that was created in her 25minutes ago but from this sudden urge; there was no way that was going to happen, ever again. He touched her in places she had always been touched but his touch was different. It was firm, it wasn’t as soft as her partners and his kiss, oh God his kiss, it was more than a French kiss, it was a mixture of French, Japanese, American, Spanish, and Indian, all in one. His kiss was done with pain and pleasure. It pleasured her and pained him because she could see the pain in his eyes.
Twenty five minutes ago, she opened the door to see an unexpected guest who walked in on her half-clad, and high, he stared at her for some seconds, grabbed her and started to kiss her as he backed her towards the couch dropping her on her back as he carefully positioned his body above hers so she could feel the whole weight of his manly aroused body. He caressed her nipples with one hand as he ran his mouth all over her upper region while his hand held her hands together above her head. His hand stopped caressing the areolas and instead found its way between her tights, she arched her back, struggled to get her hands free but he held on tight. He did things with his fingers between her legs, things she had always done and received but this one basically turned her world upside down. He went down on her and gave her the best head she had ever seen, felt or given. He was precise and apt. They were at it for a while; she was at the verge of an orgasm when a sharp knock and a vibration from underneath her butts interrupted them. She grudgingly picked up the phone and discovered her expected guest was outside and knocking. Quickly, they separated, and got dressed. He fixed his collar, reached for his car keys, looked at her with a longing sad look, opened the door for her guest and walked out and away from her without a word or even acknowledging her visitors greeting. Her partner walked in with a confused smile and threw herself in her arms; everything else thereon was boring, tasteless, and unsatisfying. Her mind flew in different directions in the bathroom. She knew she had to finish what they started; she has to finish what she started with Adewale. She needed him back in her life, arms, and between her legs. Oh well, April and Mofe will eventually forgive her in the end but for now, she needed him back and she was willing to do anything to get him back. She walked out of the bathroom, kissed her partner and asked her to leave.

Meanwhile back at home, April and Mofe had gone inside to greet her inlaws, (Mofe’s parents), after a round of loud argumentative pleasantries, weather comparison stories and several hugs here and there, they all finally settled down quietly while they watched “VillageSquuare Tv”. It took a while for her in-laws to realize Ade and Jessy wasn’t with them and her mother-in-law was the first to ask. “Ehen okoo mi (meaning my husband/wife in yoruba), where is your husband? Is he in the main house? What of Jessy?” she asked looking Mofe’s way this time, “hasn’t she closed from work or doesn’t she know you are in town?”. They both looked at each other in silence and April was the first to break the silence saying Ade went to get Jessy from her office because her car was still at the mechanics as at the last time they spoke with her. They chatted for a while and April excused herself and went back to the main house. She went into Ades room, took a shower and put on one of his T shirts, she drank some water and sat down on the couch to watch a random program on Televison but she was only there in person, her mind had traveled far, far, far away. She was mentally exhausted and physically beat, she knew she needed to sleep but she also wanted to see and speak with Ade first, so she sat on the couch and waited.

April was fast asleep on the couch in Wales’s room when he walked in, he stared at her for a while before he bent down to pick her up and take her to their bed. His Angel, his lovely soon-to-be wife that he just cheated on for the first time because he was tipsy, angry, and confused, but that will never happen again. He prayed she would understand and forgive him overtime so they can continue with their plans to get married soon. April woke up startled and threw her arms around him. She smiled as he dropped a kiss on her forehead and whispered, “I am sorry” into her ears. He smiled back, hugged her, and dropped her on the bed before he covered her up. He needed a shower, he had to wash away the scent of Jessy and liquor from his body, he couldn’t explain what just happened but he was finally satisfied and convinced that it wasn’t his fault that it didn’t work with Jessy because in a way he always blamed himself for not trying hard enough to make it work with her in the past. He knew he wanted to be with April, without any single shred of doubt, but first he had to tell her the truth about what had just happened and he prayed by God that she would forgive him.
He walked out of the shower and saw his phone blinking; he picked it up, checked and saw about 4 missed calls and a text message. The calls were from Jessy; maybe she was calling to warn him off about what just happened or maybe she was calling to find out if he got home safe and sane. He opened the message and almost dropped the phone. Jessy had sent a text, a four worded text, “I want you, Now!!!” He couldn’t believe what he had just read, he sat down on the bed and his heart started to beat. A part of him wanted to just drive over to her house and give it to her but the other part of him stared at the woman on his bed and the thought of hurting her again didn’t go down well with him. He sat down there for a while on the couch, watched some news on the TV about a storm brewing in Manchester, he checked the time and it was half past 12a.m, hmmm, a storm at this hour of the night, he turned off the television and lights and walked towards his sleeping woman. He dropped the phone on the bed, sat beside his fiancé, played with her hair till he fell asleep by her side.
April woke up and grabbed the first hard object her hands touched, it was Ades phone so she turned on the torch and walked to the toilet to use the ladies. She sat down to pee and decided to click on the missed calls icon to see if anyone important had called, she saw several kissed calls from Jessy and she felt bad. She knew Jessy wanted to apologize to Ade for what had happened earlier on, Awwww, poor girl, she had already forgiven them, she thought of calling her and telling her that they were cool but then she looked at the time, it was past four a.m. Calling now was wrong, a text would suffice. She opened the messages and saw a text from Jessy, Awwww she even sent a text, she opened the message and dropped the phone as she screamed. She couldn’t believe what she just read. Jessy and Ade. Her scream woke Ade up and he rushed into the bathroom, picked up his phone from the floor, saw the message on the screen and froze. Guess there is never a right time for a “storm”; he did not just see himself been the source of this storm…

The First Ring!!!

Published March 20, 2014 by saddeyya

Gaga and R.Kelly’s “Do what U want with my body” was playing loudly on repeat. I moved round the entire self-contain house in my bra and shorts, cleaning, dancing and singing. Been excited since i woke up this a.m, which was exactly the same time i received the phone call from Samson, he said “Madam, na today we de come, make you prepare better surprise for Oga.” He told me their expected arrival time. My Sly was coming to town after six weeks on site, yaaay. The distance caused a mini fight between us, thanks to yours truly and I have been waiting to physically and sexually apologize. Wait, rewind…

…I woke up early because the alarm I set for my antibiotic drugs went off. We all know the first ring is always the most annoying, the subsequent ones just make you roll your eyes and sigh on the bed before hitting stop. I took the drugs, eased myself, got into bed, and turned on some music, I was at the verge of dozing when I heard the sound. It was just 5a.m and the only call I was expecting was the call to prayer by the mallam in the mosque beside my house. The first ring interrupted my music so I picked the phone and saw “Samson Driver” as the caller, my heart started an immediate nonstop back flip as I sat upright, did something go wrong with Sly? Was there an accident? Was I really cursed as my former in-laws speculated? Seeing as I lost my ex the week he proposed to me. He went to change the ring he proposed with because the first ring he brought was too small. While at the goldsmiths shop, some armed men attacked them, robbing and shooting randomly, he got hit on the stomach and he bled out, fast. By the time he was rushed to the hospital, he was gone. I mourned him for over 14months. I met Sulaiman(my current man- aka Sly) while I was mourning and he understood and stayed till I was ready. We have been an item for about 2years now, if anything happened to him too, i will drug myself to death. I couldn’t just imagine myself going through another phase of that. “Samson, what is it, what happened to your oga?, I yelled” He replied and said “Madam, na today we de come…”…. story continues

As expected, I had cooked his favorite meal, and I was dusting the furnitures when the door bell rang. I heard the first ring because I was expecting it, I grabbed a shirt before opening the door. It was Sly, he looked tired, we hugged and kissed passionately. We found ourselves on my bed and before I could apologize as planned, I was “shdtdpwya” under the covers. He kissed me passionately several minutes later, slid a ring on my finger and said “Marry me”. The moment was perfect. The ring wasn’t as beautiful as the first ring from the ex but it was the perfect size. I kissed him, smiled with tears dripping down my face as I slowly removed the ring.

Married to Mai’gida

Published March 20, 2014 by saddeyya

“My name na Hadiza, I be thirty years, I don born seven pikin, and one of my pikin don born so them they call me Kaka. Last week na hin my mai’gida pursue me from our house because of say I no wan carry belle again. I don do family planning and he no know. I lie for am say my belle no fit carry pikin again but e no gree. I don tire”. “I don come to beg the government and the people for Sokoto state make them help me”. “Na only primary school I finish that na why I no fit go they find work for office but I sabi cook, clean house, wash cloth come iron am and I de sabi weave hair well well”. Tears rolled down my eyes as I heard her speak. How can a grandmother to one and a mother to seven suddenly become homeless and a wife to none just because she refused to get pregnant? How wicked people have gradually become. I gave her some water and asked her how a thirty year old woman could have given birth to seven children in a short period of time. Like did she start giving birth at ten ( I said out loud, in my mind), or did she adopt them? She replied and told me the story of her life. My secretary had to rewrite it in English because we couldn’t just publish the whole story in pidgin. Here is her story…

Hadiza was the first daughter of her late parents. Her parents passed away when she was 7years old leaving her with two younger brothers. Her uncles shared them amongst themselves and Hadiza was unlucky enough to be sent to live with her spinster aunt in kaduna. Her brothers both stayed in Kano where they all grew up and they were sent to islamic schools to become educated in the ways of Islam. She never saw or heard from them, again. She moved in with her aunt and started her journey to doom. She became the cleaner, the wash woman, the house help and the punch bag. Her aunt made her work for a whole year before enrolling her into school. And when she eventually did, she made her work for her school fees by sending her to sell satchel water in a football field close to their house. By the time Hadiza was 12, she had become a beautiful girl and her aunt thought to marry her out so she could do away with paying her school fees and also tolerating her.

Hadiza was betrothed to the second man who came for her hands because he was educated and richer than the first one and she was so happy to leave her wicked aunts house that the perks of getting married was the least of her problems. She just assumed she was changing houses and jobs and what wouldn’t a tired 12 year old girl give for some good food, rest and long hours of sleep. Mallam Sanni (her mai’gida) lived in Sokoto so she moved there with him after they got married. By then she was 13 and done with her primary school education. He promised to further her education and to also make her visit home at least once in a year. That was the beginning of the rest of her “world of a lie” life.

Her first sexual experience was worse than the subsequent once. She was molested, bruised, torn, and partially raped. She was made to believe that it was always like that every first time but she later got to realize that it was always going to be like that, every time. Her husband was bigger than her in everything and she was just too small to fight him off. Sex was daily for him during their first year of marriage. He had a routine and she had to follow it judiciously. “He walks into their room and announces his sexual intentions. She goes into the bathroom, takes her bath and comes back to the bedroom with only her wrapper. He takes off his cloths, lay beside her naked and reaches for her bre….. well, we all know what goes on after that but from everything she explained, foreplay wasn’t in their routine. This went on for a while and she finally got pregnant and the sex stopped. Her first and only daughter was birthed when she (Hadiza) was 3months shy of her 15th birthday and barely 11months after she started her menstruation cycle. Giving birth was always done by a midwife in their house and her aunt came for a week only to help her, after that, her mother-in-law moved in and took over. As soon as her first baby was 5months old, her husband’s sexcapades started all over again, 5 to 6 times a week. Her mother-in-law passed on after her fourth child so she was left alone to take care of her fifth. She got a live in elderly woman (Jumai) to assist her with her bunch of kids before the gave birth to the sixth and seventh child. Her husband married out their first child, Hajara (the month she started her menstruation), at the age of 14 to a younger and better man and she bore a son a year after. It was Jumai who told her about family planning and she took her there some months ago. Her husband made sure he provided for his children by sending them to school, feeding them and clothing them but that was all. He barely gave her enough money to include herself from the catering allowance. She could only save about N142, 500 which she had in cash with her because she didn’t have a bank account. Her husband chased her out some days ago because his several attempts to get her pregnant again had failed and he was worried and impatient. He said he wanted 3 more daughters from her. She lied to him that she lost her womb due to some infections she had via him after she birthed the seventh child and the midwife said she couldn’t give birth again. She was tired of going through the torment and suffering alone and he was having none of it. Said he couldn’t leave with a barren woman at home and he was going to replace her if she didn’t give him another child.

To cut the long story short, he threw her out after the seventh child turned 2 and she was directed to my NGO by Jumai, for help. How can an educated man descend so low, so so low and decide to imprison a girl of 13years old. A girl young enough to be his child. He sleeps with her bruising her fragile body with his huge manly parts. Early marriage has never been supported by me. A girl should be old enough to chose a husband for herself. She shouldn’t be forced into any kind of union with any man, no matter how matured she is/looks. Age also matters too. A girl of 18 or 19 who has gone through the four walls of high school is still too young to be betrothed to any man, talk more of a child of 13. Early marriage is a thing of the past. No man, educated or not should be encouraged to patronize the idea of getting married to a child. He should wait till she is old enough to understand the “crux of a marriage” before engaging her in anything/way.


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