A DECEMBER FOR APRIL TO REMEMBER

We Met In January. It Was One Of Those Days When I Woke Up On The Wrong Side Of The Bed With A Bad Hair Because I Got Back From Work Very Late The Previous Night. I Left Home In A Rush Dressed Like I Was Going For A Comedy Fashion Show As I Could Not Afford To Miss Clementina’s Wedding Which I Was Already One Hour Late For. Didn’t Feel Like Driving So I Called My Regular Cab Driver Who Drove Down Like A Criminal Who Was Been Chased By The Police (Which Was One Of The Reason I Liked Using Him For My Daily Crisis). My First Stop Was My Salon; To Get My Hair Fixed. I Left The Salon Thirty Five Minutes Later And Headed Straight To The Hotel Where My Fellow Bridesmaid Had Put Up And Was Lucky To Get There Five mins Before They All Left For Church. I Collected The Key To My Room And Ran Up The Staircase Because The Elevator Wasn’t Descending And In Less Than Thirty Minutes I Was Clothed And On My Way, Called The Cab Man To Ensure He Was Still Within The Area As I Walked Into The Elevator Feeling A Little Better Than I Did When I Woke Up. Waited For The Doors To Close Then I Bent Down (In A Feline Way) To Knot My Left Shoe Lace Which I Had Badly Knotted Earlier. The Elevator Came To A Stop And The Doors Opened, I (Now On One Knee, With My Hands Raised With The Hope Of Grabbing Anything Accessible To Lift Myself Off The Ground) Looked Up Only To Spot One Of The Finest Eyes On The Best Dressed Man (Even Though He Did Not Have A Wrist Watch Or A Good Haircut) I Had Ever Seen, Standing In Front Of My With A Huge Smile On His Face Mouthing ‘I Do’. I Was Dazed For A Couple Of Seconds And When I Finally Came To, I Grabbed His Outstretched Hands Which He Was Extending To My And Stood Up. I Mumbled “Thank You” Which Sounded Like ‘Vacuum”. In An Attempt To Walk Past Him, I Heard Him Whisper Adewale Into My Ears, I Stood For Some Seconds, Smiled And Said April, He Asked Me For The Time Which I Told Him As I Hurried Towards The Waiting Cab.

Got To The Venue And Joined The Party, Took Some Pictures, Drank And Danced A Little, Made And Received Some Calls Because I Was Restless Plus I Could Feel Someone Staring At Me But I Just Couldn’t Figure Out Who And Why So I Decided To Go Say My Byes And Head Home To Rest For The Remainder Of The Weekend (Or So I Thought). I Exchanged Pleasantries With The Latest Couple In Town And Took A Picture With Them, After Promising To Call Them Soon. I Hugged Some Guests, Took A Gift Pack And Started Heading To The Parking Lot. My Cab Driver Wasn’t Close By And I Needed To Sleep Under My Beautiful White Duvet, So I Decided To Take Another Cab Back To The Hotel To Get My Things Before Heading Home. I Was Outside The Gate Waiting For A Cab When A Black Toyota Corolla Pulled Up Beside Me, Couldn’t See The Driver Because The Car Was Fully Tinted. Adewale Came Out Of The Drivers Side And Asked If I Wanted A Ride, I Laughed, Got In And Thanked Him.

He Drove To The Hotel And Asked If He Should Wait, I Declined Saying My Taxi Driver Was On His Way Already, Thanked Him Profusely And Went In To Get My Things. I Spent Over 20 Minutes wasting my time In The Room Doing Nothing Because I Wanted To Give Adewale Enough Time To Leave The Vicinity. I Dropped The Key At The Reception, Walked Towards The Gate Of The Hotel Feeling Fulfilled And Smart, Saw A Car That Looked Like The Same One That Dropped Me Passing, I Ran Back Into The Compound, Waited At The Parking Lot For About One Minute Feeling Like A Female Bond, My Moment Didn’t Last Because I Realized Adewale’s Car Was Parked Ten Feet’s Away From Me And He Was Resting On The Bonnet Of His Car Laughing At Me. He Walked Towards Me, Grabbed My Bags And Walked Me To His Car. No Words Were Exchanged As We Both Walked Towards The Car And Got In, He Asked For My Destination And He Took Me To My House Without Uttering A Word. I Got Out, Thanked Him Again For The Third Time In Less Than 6 Hours And  Went In.  I Walked In Wearing A Funny Expression But I Was Too Tired To Think About It.

I  Slept Throughout The Day And Was Barely Awake The Next Day Too Because I Had Worked For Five Straight Days Closing Very Late On Each Day Because I Was Trying To Prepare A Document Which My Boss Was Supposed To Present To The State Government A Week After. I Am A Research Analyst/P.A To The H.O.D Research, In The Office Of The Chief Research And Statistics Department In One Of The Federal Government Commissions. I Enjoyed My Job A Lot Because It Entailed Everything I Had Ever Wanted But Still I Lacked In The Department Of A Steady Relationship. I Have Done Several Researches In The Past And The Only Thing I Have Never Found Was The Right Guy, Plus The Nature Of My Job Didn’t Give Me Enough Time To Even Meet Them. I Woke Up Finally At Noon To Fix Myself Up With Brunch, Returned The Missed Calls And Messages I Saw On My Phone, Arranged My Outfit For The Week Accordingly In My Wardrobe, Took My Bath And Sat Down To Watch A Movie. I Was Enjoying My Privacy In A Way Though And No One Was Complaining Yet. I Barely Managed To Watch Half Of The Movie Before I Slept Off On The Couch Again. I Woke Up To The Sound Of My Phone Ringing, I Was Too Sleepy To Even Check Who The Caller Was When I Said Hello. The Caller Was Mute For A While And Then He Cleared His Throat And Said Hi. We Spoke About Nothing For 2mins Before I Finally Asked The Question I Had Been Avoiding Since I Couldn’t Figure Out Who The Caller Was Even Though I Deduced That He Knew Enough About Me From Our Brief Conversation. He Introduced Himself As Adewale And My Eyes Opened Fully, I Sat Up And Asked How He Got My Digits In A Low Tone, His Reply Was Very Shocking As I Could Tell He Was Smiling At The Other End Of The Line. He Told My He Got It From The Bride Who Happens To Be His Cousins Wife, He Also Told Me That He Was At The Wedding Too And He Watched Me All Through, And From The Moment He Saw Me, He Knew He Liked Me (Which Was Something He Had Never Felt Or Done Before).

That Was How It All Started; We Started Seeing Each Other Officially In February. Adewale Works For An Oil Company In Bayelsa State And His Job Was Almost Like Mine Too. We Both Had The Same Likes When It Came To Having Fun And We Both Liked To Have Our Privacy. We Loved Movies, Dancing And Sleeping. He Showered Me With All Kinds Of Gifts, Ranging From, Wrist Watches, Perfumes, Dresses, Shoes, Jewelries And Cakes. By March We Had Gotten So Used To Each Other That The Thought Of Not Being Together In Future Was Scary. By April We Had A Little Quarrel Which Lasted For Almost 2 Weeks Because Adewale Thought It Was Time To Consummate And I Said It Was Too Early, We Talked About It And He Calmed Down. May Was Adewale’s Birthday And I Got Him A White Gold Wrist Watch And He Promised To Wear It Every Blessed Day, I Took Him To Watch A Movie And I Took Him Home For The Final Gift (Which Adewale Hoped Was What He Had Been Silently Clamoring For Between My Legs) But He Was Surprised To See His And My Friends, Colleagues, And Relatives In My Parlor Holding A Cake And Screaming Happy Birthday. He Was So Happy And I Could Tell That He Wasn’t Expecting So Much Love From Everyone Knowing That Some Of Them Flew Down Just For Him, We Danced, Ate And Drank, They All Left Around Mid Night And For The First Time I Allowed Him Sleep Over And The Last Thing That Was On His Mind Was The First Thing He Thought Of When They Were Driving To My House. He Thanked Me For Everything And Held Me Close All Through The Night Only Waking Up To Drop Little Kisses On My Face And Neck. By June I Was Ready To Take The Relationship To Another Level. I Didn’t Regret Every Bit Of Our Love Making As It Was Beyond My Expectations. He Was Glad He Waited Till I Was Ready Because It Was Worth The Wait. I Visited His Family In July When I Finally Got A 2 Weeks Break From Work; They Liked Me At First Sight. He Visited Mine Too And Was Shocked To Discover That He Was The First Guy That I Had Taken Home To Meet My Family. We Went To Dubai To Spend The Remaining 5 Days I Had Left Before My Leave Was Over. August Went By Without Any Issue Apart From The Regular Arguments Which Couples In Love Usually Have, So Did September And October. My Birthday Fell In November And I Got The Greatest Gift Of All. Adewale Proposed To Me At 12a.M In The Morning While We Were On The Phone, He Had Put The Ring In The Right Foot Of His Loafers That He Left On My Shoe Rack, I Screamed Yes With Tears In My Eyes. We Exchanged Lovely Words And Promises And I Went To Bed With A Smile And Tears In My Eyes. He Flew Down Several Hours Later And He Went Down On His Knees To Propose Again, I Went Down On Mine Too And Dropped A Kiss On His Lips To Re-Confirm My Answer. It Was The Most Wonderful Birthday Gift I Had Ever Had And Our Relationship Grew Stronger. He Spent The Night  With Me And Travelled Back The Next Morning. November Ended Better Than The Other Months Even Though He Asked Me To Keep His Proposal A Secret Till We Both Went Visiting For Christmas.

December Started Well As Both Families Where In Support Of Our Decision Or So We Thought Till Mofe, Adewale’s Sister Showed Up For Christmas From Canada……….. (To Be Continued)

Some Angels, Die to Live

I Ran Into The Letter You Wrote Me The Night You Left Us 3 Years Ago And I Remembered You Again My Dearest Angela With A Huge Smile This Time. I Miss You And The Friendship That We Once Shared, Even Though Your Last Days On Earth Was A Struggle between tears and pain. We Are Sure Heaven Is Where You Are Right Now Because That Is The Only Place That Befits An Innocent Angel Like Yourself. Watching The Way You Struggled Through Your Sickness Was Quite Painful. You Lived the Better Part of Your Life Abusing Drugs (Which Was Our Daily Joke) Because That’s What The Pains Subjected You To.

You Always Laughed At Our Every Mistake, Making It Seem Like It Was Okay To Make One. Who Else Could Tell The Sick At A Very Young Age That They Will Be Strong With So Much Confident? Who Else Would Forgive Everyone With An Open Heart And Hand? You Believed In Everyone And Everything, You Believed A Breath Of Air, A Quench Of Thirst Or A Place To Rest Was Worth Living For Even In Our Weakest Or Faithless Moments.
The Three And A Half Months We Visited/Stayed With You For On Your Sick Bed Were The Longest And Saddest Moments Of Our Life’s. You Lost Every Ounce Of Fat You Had Ever Acquired, And Every One Who Was Around You Unconsciously Joined In The Weight Loss Program Solely Because The Face They Were Used To Seeing With A Large Smile Was Slowly Fading By The Hour But Still You Tried Your Best To Make Us Happy By Telling Us Funny Jokes Though This Time We Couldn’t Laugh As Loud As We Used To Because No One Wanted To Accept The Fact That In A Couple Of Months You May No Longer Be There To Tell Us The Same Stories.
I Almost Gave Up The Hustle Because My Life Was A Frustrated One. I Had Neither Steady Clients Nor Relationships Because No One Believed In My Dream, (I Wanted To Be The First Nigerian To Own A Modeling N.G.O Which Everyone Has Already But The Difference In Mine Was That All The Workers/Models Were Going To Be From Different Orphanages In The Country. The Whole Idea Was To Use That Avenue To Generate Something Positive For Them And To Also Enable The World See Them From A Different Point Of View), The Company Was Registered And An Office With A Staff Strength Of Ten Creative Young Orphans Was Accessible, A Profile/Business Plan Was Fashioned Out But Trying To Get Companies Who Where Interested In Media Advertising To Buy Into My Concept Was Like Trying To Pour Water Into A Well With A Basket. I Felt It All Falling Apart Before It Even Started Or So It Seemed And My Responsibilities Kept Pilling Up By The Hour Because I Couldn’t Keep Spending My Savings (Excluding Capital That Was Already Invested) On A Project. Something You Said To Me At The Doorstep Of One Of Our (Now Business Partners) Clients, When We Went To Introduce Our Ideas To The Management Of Their Orphanage Kept Pushing Me To Never Give In To The Failure Pangs That I Was Feeling In My Guts. I Don’t Know How You Knew What I Was Thinking And Feeling But You Pulled Me Aside And Said In Your Own Words ‘My Friend, If You Don’t Believe In This Bridge That You Are Building Like We All Do, Then There Is No Point Asking Someone Else To Cross It. You Have To Actually Believe That The Gap You Are Trying To Close Between This World (The Orphans) And The Other Is Really Worth It. I Know It’s A Risk In This Very Frail World That We Exist In But If You And Every Other Person Doesn’t Go Through This Discomfort To Make A Positive Change, Then We Will All Still Be As Stagnant As An Island. I Walked Into Several Other Meetings With Great Conviction Afterwards With My Faith And Hopes High. Today, I Can Proudly Say That I Am A Comfortable N.G.O Owner With The Staff Strength Of Forty Hard-Working Orphans, I am married with two children and yes, I adopted one and named her after you. How Else Can One Not Claim To Have The Steadiest Of All Jobs Again? I Finally Managed To Get Almost Every Company Interested In My Idea When They Discovered That It Was Another Way Of Reaching Out To The Needy While Meeting Their Set Goals Too And You (My Motivator) Are Not Here To Celebrate With Me. When The Doctor Said You Didn’t Have The Strength To Fight Anymore Because You Were Too Weak To, I Gave Up On Everything I Had Ever Believed In. I Didn’t Even Go On My Knees Or Look Up To The Sky For About 90 Days Because I Didn’t Want To Curse Or Cry. I Hated Every Religion That I Had Ever Known Because I Actually Called On Other God’s To See You Through, Since “The One” We Believed in Was Not Willing to Make You Better.

Still, You Called Me Aside And Made Me Vow To Always Have Faith In God Because He Was The Only Reason You Met And Changed My Life And He Is The Only One That Can Give And Take And You Are Sure He Is Taking You So He Can Give The World Something Better. I Cried The Night You Finally Gave Up The Ghost, I Didn’t Even Know I Still Had So Much Liquid In Me Because I Had Gotten Used To Crying For/With You But On This Day, I Cried Like A Child And I Only Stopped When I Got The Letter From Your Sister Some Hours Later. It Read:

I Am Gone, So What!!! Does That Mean You Should Cry Like A Child? Do Me A Favor, Don’t Give Up On This Dream Of Yours, Keep Helping The Less Privileged And Anytime You Do, Think Of Me, Smile And Move On Blubber-Face

I Just Read The Letter Again And I Smiled. I Have Helped And I Will Continue To Help Them Angy, I Should Launch My Orphanage Home In A Couple Of Month And I Named It After You. Some Angels Really Have To Die To Leave A Positive Mark In Our Existence.

Pool Of Pleasure

Dear Loyal Readers, I woke up alone and started to wonder why, i am sure he is either in the bathroom taking a shower or he will be in the parlour talking to his main girl or watching a football  match. I need a shower myself because I didn’t get the chance to in the mid night; I wonder what I will do when I am all dressed up in a bit. Hmmm, To-go or not to-go? That’s the questions in my head now….

I woke up this morning feeling very weird and wonderful; I hadn’t felt that way in a while, actually, I have never felt this way in my incomplete life. It feels like a dream yet I know it is real, I wanted to scream out to the whole world last night and tell them of my discovery but I knew doing that would make me share and I was not ready to do that, not now or ……. ever (I think).

Last night I discovered my sutra self, I found the spot I had always searched for in time of soothe. I didn’t know people had the ability to scream or talk gibberish in their time of bliss; I was used to only doing that when I was pissed or confused not pleasured. Have i been into any long and major relationship? Yes, but I have never had so much intimacy with any of my associates (wink wink). I guess I was never really in it. Should i thank God that I was really never ready because I don’t think i will trade last night’s experience for anything, not even for a million naira (Hmmmm, but for a million Dollars i will, eeerrmm…).

I am sure tasted him before I even ate him, I felt him before he touched me, I heard him before he spoke to me, I even met him before he saw me, yeah, because I had known him for a while but I didn’t know he was the one that would end up taking me back and forth in a cradle – thanks to late Aliyah. I know at this moment you are already drained from reading nothing; I am also tired of talking too much, to cut the story short, I’ll explain where my sudden joy is oozing outta. Yesterday I decided to spend the night with Togo after he had spent several weeks chaotically chasing me, we didn’t do anything based on the promise he kept earlier on (that he won’t touch me). Though we cuddled, kissed, touched this and that and then we slept off listening to soft music from his phone.

I suddenly woke up and I heard myself moaning in my wake, I was feeling a sudden pleasure from my chest region and I could feel myself squirming and I thought “oh no, I am probably having a feminine wet dream” and I instantaneously woke up only to realize the pleasure was been meted upon me by Togo. He was busy drinking from my robust upper region and digging into my lower passage with his hand. I almost lost control of my self, my mouth refused to shut itself up, and it was then I realized I was talking gibberish, I was trying to say “stop, don’t” but instead what i was voicing out was “don’t stop”. I was hot and dripping with water ( from every part of my body), shaking and screaming, I don’t know what he was doing but boy, he was doing it very well. I started moving my hips and I think that sent a message to his leg (the mini one, please). He started undressing me slowly and I could not do the same too because I was too engrossed in the erotic feeling. I can’t remember seeing him pulling out a nylon helmet and wearing it or even turning me to my side but I remember him entering into me slowly, and carefully. I arched my back (like a cat that has refused to drop on her back after a great fall) to allow him gain full entrance, my left leg was wrapped around his. He kept grinding slowly for a while and his lips never left my neck and ears, after two hours (because that’s how it felt in my head) his pace picked up and he started riding fast, he turned me over and raised my behind like a cat that was ready to pounce on its prey, this time he entered me with so much energy that I had to scream. He started riding and tapping, he rode for another two hours ( what? thats how it felt in my head yeah) and then that was when I realized he was about to come and then I found my voice but this time I didn’t mix the words up, I said loudly like a sick bird “ don’t stop”. He smiled and said he was not planning to do that.

He turned me over to lie on my back and he entered me slowly and then he closed my legs (hmmm, am I getting wet again, peew). He started knocking on my spot and I felt myself wriggling, I got scared, I wanted him to stop but I could not let go of his tight bottom, I started moving like a loose cannon and then he said “ I am about to come”. I can’t remember what I said but I know we screamed out together and that was when all the strength I thought I had left me. I became weak and shy, and he kept on kissing me all over mustering words I can’t remember now, he played with my hair till I fell asleep.

I am awake now, wondering how I will face him when he gets outta the shower, should I accuse him of Rape (forgetting the incident or my first Orgasm experience). Should I just dress up and sneak out of his house and wait for him to come to me? Or should I just stay and act all matured about it by waiting for him to say something that may sound like an apology before storming out of his house acting very hurt? Togo suddenly knocked on his door and walked in with a tray (breakfast in bed, will it get any better)? He asked if I was okay and if I was ready to eat or if I wanted to take my bath me first.

Okay people, I am out, no more stories to tell, I don’t have to live like Cinderella or even Oprah, I can at least live happy for now with my Togo, I don’t even care if I am the tenth girl he is doing this to, I don’t know what tomorrow holds or what yesterday fells like again but I do know that where I am now is where I have always wanted to be.

 

220 MONTHS AFTER, C-130 WIDOWS STILL WAIL FOR A PILLOW

Two hundred and twenty months ago, about one hundred and eighty young ladies where almost turned homeless, helpless and hopeless as the cruel arms of death gave them a reason to shed tears for the lives of the men they once loved and lost, strong willed mothers where turned into weak widowed women, after an unexpected plane crash took place in Ejigbo, Lagos State. Young intelligent officers (comprising of the Army, Air force and Navy) who had faith in the future of Nigeria and her people were gone even before they could fight for their beliefs. The government in the person of late General Sani Abacha (who gave a speech after the mass burial in October 1992) promised to solve the mystery behind the plane crash and to also compensate the widows and their surviving families individually (based on the terms and conditions of the armed forces) by providing them with their late husband’s pension which is one-third of what their salary was then, he also noted that a scholarship will be given to the children of the deceased for every level of their education till their graduation from the tertiary institution. The government also even went as far as promising to donate free shelter and providing some money for some of the women to start a petty trade just as another means of survival pending when their funds would be sorted.

The promise of the Federal Government to provide houses for the widows in their deceased husbands’ respective states came to pass especially in some states in the south. However, majority of the shelter provided were in poor dilapidated conditions and the federal government failed to redeem it’s promise to help solve the mystery behind the plane crash and it also failed to live up to the provisions as stipulated in the terms and conditions of service (as regards the pension). The widows waited patiently for about nine years for that which the country promised and owed them and when they could not wait any more, they summoned the courage to ask questions but the answers they got was not what they expected, not only did the government fail in fulfilling it’s promise of looking into the cause of the plane crash and solving the puzzle, it also didn’t provide for the widows as promised which worsened their predicament. A panel was set up after the widows took the case to court but it was later dissolved after much efforts by the widows to get the government’s attention proved futile. The grieving widows where insulted, harassed, abused and disgraced. Some of them rallied, and fought with the last penny they had but what kept them going was the wheel of togetherness, the same one their husbands lived and died for tragically. They had a motto and it was what they believed in, they knew that “not giving up on what is right” is the only way justice would be served. In 2005, former President Obasanjo became aware of the case after various media houses took it upon themselves to make a story from the case. He promised to compensate the widows and he also told them to exercise patience whilst discussions were going on with their military leaders. A back log was done and an amount was agreed on for each family. Funds were released to the Military government as promised by the then President but majority of the money which was allocated to the Army was silently lost in transit. It never got to the grieving poor widows because the some certain colleagues of their late husband’s did not think they deserved It anymore.

Today I write this with a painful heart and a weak soul, I wonder what the society would expect from the C-130 children who grew up without a father or from the women who watched in pain as the law deprived them of their rights. Today the 26th day of January, 2011(18 years & 4 months after), I alongside some widows witnessed the height of mans wickedness to his neighbor. The S.A.N (name withheld) who handled the said case in an enclosed meeting with some representatives from the Defense Headquarters and a few widows in attendance, looked at the tired widows who had traveled by road in the eyes blatantly after several hours of “futile arguments” (as he believed) and told them to gladly accept whatever the government offered them now in peace because taking the case any further would be at their loss. It’s such a shame to know that some of our leaders who we are used to seeing spending our hard earned funds on vanity before our Living eyes now have the effrontery to spend the money of Dead fallen heroes! The token that had been fought for with tears and sweat that was allocated to the family of a father who was once your friend, colleague, and brother, the same person you once went to war with trusting him to fight side by side with you till victory was achieved.
These women once had a comfortable bed to lie on, but when they suddenly became widows they lost all hopes of sleep. Their only company was their horrid nightmares, which was a continuous repetition of the last time they saw their late spouse, a scenario of how they all burned and possibility of ever seeing them again. The government which comprises of appointed bodies who we rely on to develop the economy promised to turn their sorrows to joy, questions to answers and they (the government) also promised to provide a pillow for the widows so that the next time they lay their head to rest, they will wake up with a smile on their face. But as we all know, the Widows still don’t have a Pillow.

Posted By: Saddeyya.

Culture and Children

My Parents were always busy (now I wonder what they were always up to). My dad was never at home and my mum was always up and about, she was the perfect picture of a working house wife. If I didn’t know better, I would have probably thought one or two of my aunts where my mother because they were always in my face. I grew up in a very Nuclear family but we began to extend when some (say about 15) of our language speaking adults moved in with us. Some were related to my parents via their siblings while the rest were probably from their neighbors in the village too. I grew up calling everyone my Aunt or my Uncle. I couldn’t differentiate the real blood from the artificial ones because I grew up with all of them in the same compound, most of them were usually busy everyday doing nothing but gossiping about everything and everyone, some were hard working I must say, very hard working (that’s if you consider washing our clothes and cooking our meals amongst themselves hard work).

I was made to go on my knees for several reasons ( greeting, serving, punishment, advise, praying, etc) because it is a sign of respect. There were times I just stayed on ma knees all day just so I won’t have to go through the stress of doing it every minute. Every morning I would wake up to go down on ma knees again, greet my dad, mum, aunts, uncles, older siblings, house helps and any other stranger in the house. I was taught to remain on my knees every time i served any elderly person around me a glass or bottle of any form of liquid, and I was only allowed to stand up when I was asked to or when the person drinking has returned the cup or bottle that I gave him.
I was told to always collect the broom, luggage, bucket, or anything a person older than me was carrying or holding and I was supposed to continue from were they may have stopped. I never called any one by their name except my siblings, we never collected anything from a guest if my parents were not there to approve of it, we never finished the food or drinks that we were served when we visited anyone especially if my mum was present and we never sat with our parents when they were with their friends in the living room. We were never spared by the rod, we had all forms of canes, some lanky, some were made by goat skin, some were so big that the mere sight of it used to make us shed tears for whoever my mum was going to spank. My mum told me that I could not use any form of make-up till I was out of high school and she also said we could not talk to boys in lonely places because we could get pregnant. She also made us promise not to start a relationship until we got to college. My parents may have been too busy to take turns in training us but they tried their best to ensure that the little they taught went a long way. They made us learn how to speak English, then our traditional language and then English again (even though we never visited the village till we left teenage hood).

Those are the days when respect was necessary and home training was compulsory. In recent times culture hasn’t been practiced. Are our parents too busy to train their children or are the children too rude and ignorant to even learn.

Now my story:
Last week I was forced to rush out of the bathroom thereby tripping over the plate of rice and stew that was placed on a stool because I was washing the soap from my eyes when I heard the door bell, I was angry because I thought the ringer was my 12 year old sister (Gabrielle a.k.a Gabby) who just stepped out to get some things for me. I was shocked when I opened the door and realized that they where friends of Gabby. The first thing they both said was “Hi (hmmm, HI?, a word which I say to my colleagues only), we are here to see Ella” (it took me some seconds to realize who they were talking about). I answered their greetings (with How are you) and ushered them in and also told them to sit and wait for Ella (hmmm). They sat down beside each other on the long couch which was opposite the rice dirt i made earlier on. I went back to the bathroom and washed my face and then I went to the kitchen to get a broom and parker to sweep it. I eventually finished after 4mins 13secs and I went into my room and sat on the bed wondering what my mum would have done if she was the one that was holding the broom in the parlor.
They sat in my parlor and they chatted about nothing of teenage-importance while I was busy sweeping a mess they made me create. None of them even offered to help instead they raised their legs when I got to their end. My mum came out of her room some minutes later and they sat on the chair still and said ” Good afternoon Ma”. That was when I lost it. I asked them to get down on their knees and greet her very well with respect which they did in fear. I also told them about the way they greeted me and the sweeping courtesy which they didn’t extend. They apologized and went mute.
The door bell rang again and as usual I rushed to the door to get it, Ella walked in and went down on her knees to greet me and our Mum, she ran in afterwards to hug her friends and she sat down in their midst trying to chat them up. They refused to talk because they couldn’t focus any more on their gist and they felt intimidated by me; their new manners instructor. I left for my room afterwards but I overheard them say they were taking their leave before I shut the door to my room.

Our parents don’t teach their kids what culture is anymore. They don’t even teach them how to speak their language or how to greet their Elders.
I miss those days so very much, everything I grudgingly learnt in my childhood came in handy in the long run.

So, what have you taught a child lately???

Posted with WordPress by Saddeyya Abu.

Babatope….

Babatope went to court to witness the verdict of his stingy neighbor (Clifford).

The Judges said to the accused,”on the 15th of January you were accused of killing your house-help by beating her to death with a Frying Pan, how do you plead?”

“Guilty”, said Clifford in the dock.

At this point Babatope who was sitting at the back of the courtroom stood up and shouted “You dirty stingy unreliable pig!” The Judge asked him to sit down and refrain from making any noise.

The Judge continued “….. and that also on the 17th of April and the 29th of September you where also accused of killing your drivers by beating them to death with a Jack, how do you plead”?

“Guilty”, said Clifford in the dock.

Again Babatope jumped back up and shouted even louder, “You dirty rotten stinking idiotic stingy foolish man”!!

At this point the Judge called him (Babatope) to the bench and said, “I have already asked you to be quiet, if you continue with these outbursts, I will have to charge you with contempt of court. I can understand your feelings, but what kind of relationship do you have with the witness?”

Babatope replied angrily “He is my next door neighbor”.

The Judge replied, “I can understand your feelings then, but you must refrain from any more comments for now”.

Babatope replied “NO, your Honor, you don’t understand my feelings at all, I have lived beside this man for three years plus.

Thrice I have visited him for a small favor… “Twice I asked this Stupid Lying man if he had a car Jack and Once if I could borrow his Frying Pan, and THRICE he looked me in the eye and said he didn’t have either of the Two” !!!

Am sure you also thought Babatope was angry at his neighbor for the killing right?…lol.

Women and Marriage

A friend of mine once called me to inform me of her wedding plans. She had dated her boyfriend (now ex-husband) for so long that they thought the best thing to do was to settle down together (first mistake)…so she wanted to do something BIG (financially). She asked me to buy a textile which I was supposed to sew afterwards for myself as a guest to a venue ill have to take a cab to-an-fro for £100, I told her I could not and sincerely I didn’t. It wasn’t about the money(not entirely though), my annoyance came from the fact that I could just wear anything on that day and still the wedding would hold. Some months after the wedding she discovered that he had been cheating(which I am yet to understand the defination ‘relatinship-wise’) with someone else so she called it quits and walked out. She got married two years after to another guy she dated for nine months and she has never been happier( the wedding was quiet and financially low).

90% of the Single, Educated and Fashion conscious ladies fantasize about their wedding day so much that they forget about the reason they are to get married. Some think of what to wear, where to shop, their make up, friends, and other vain stuff that they forget to prepare for the marriage itself. A wedding is done just so people can see who you are betrothed to. Originally after the Lord has blessed a couples union via a man of God, the wedding can be considered valid.

The truth is this: Marriage begins when the wedding ends… A wedding can be done for days but the end result is usually for years. A woman must be ready to Tolerate, Respect and Condone the man she calls her husband. A woman should think of her husband as her father with a some difference.

Love does not always end in Marriage but ‘Like’ does end in it. Some fall in love after Marriage. Some fall out of love after Marriage, some fall in love outside their Marriage. Some people only have to live together for a while to realize they are not as compatible as they thought and some live together for a while and wonder how they have been surviving without the other partner.

Every woman is meant to be a friend, wife, mother and best friend to their husband and child(ren) but the positions don’t come easy. Sometimes men forget what they have, a woman’s duty is to remind him of who he is and why she loves him and not remand and imprison him in his home.

A lot of us base our decisions on what we have heard about other people in our situation. Just because he cheated once or cheats doesn’t mean he loves you less.
A Relationship/Marriage that involves cheating is like a restaurant, a man goes into it to eat his favourite meal “Rice” and then he realises that another person there ordered for fries and sausages, then the man starts thinking ” should I try that tomorrow”…even if he doesn’t know what it is going to taste like. Its left for the him to try it or any other meal that catches his fancy or he can just focus on the many ways of making his Rice more appealing to Him.

If we learn to forgive and continue respecting our spouse then we will have a happy life in the long run. Some men think getting married to a woman should be done for the woman’s sake but the truth is: Men are the ones who really need to get a wife.

Marriage is a very tough decision, its choosing someone special to you regardless of their flaws, language, religion, background, Someone you will always look up to for answers when the question gets tough, someone you can trust to succeed where you have failed, someone who will lift you up while laughing at you when you fall. Someone whose problems make you restless. But to find that person we must learn to ignore what we have gone through or heard in the past and be ready to embrace the future.

Everyone wants to marry a saint but the question is… How angelic are you? Marriage is giving up a lot just so you can get that one thing which will bring you something better than what was given up.

Marriage is for the wise and not the old. Its what distinct’s a boy from a man. Not every husband is a great father, but a woman can make her husband be something close to that.

In Marriage a woman must have or learn this basic things:

•Respect – No matter what he does for in the end he will appreciate you more.
•Tolerance – For he will always try to provoke you when he is angry but you must endure and smile.
•Trust – This often withers gradually like dry leaves when a partner cheats, but we must believe and learn to trust when they say they have stopped and they will never do it again. Its the most difficult to build and the easiest to break.
•Ignorance – Some of us always pry into our spouses private business. If he or she is keeping something from you that doesn’t affect your relationship then you should let it be. Ignore the zeal to search for evidences that may break wht you have been building for years.

Men are like children, they need attention, love, food, exercise, fun and rest because that’s the only way they can be productive.

So who is ready to get married?

Just Laugh

Ikenna: Saddeyya Laptop Galleria Store. Can I help you?

MUSA: Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.

IKENNA: Mac?

MUSA: No, the name’s Lou.

IKENNA: Your computer?

MUSA: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

IKENNA: Mac?

MUSA: I told you, my name’s Lou.

IKENNA: What about Windows?

MUSA: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

IKENNA: Do you want a computer with Windows?

MUSA: I don’t know. What will I see when I look in the windows?

IKENNA: Wallpaper. MUSA: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

IKENNA: Software for Windows?

MUSA: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?

IKENNA: Office.

MUSA: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

IKENNA: I just did.

MUSA: You just did what?

IKENNA: Recommend something.

MUSA: You recommended something?

IKENNA: Yes.

MUSA: For my office?

IKENNA: Yes.

MUSA: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

IKENNA: Office.

MUSA: Yes, for my office!

IKENNA: I recommend Office with Windows.

MUSA: I already have an office with windows!

Funny Enigmatic Basics

There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

It aint the jeans that makes your butt look fat.

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”

There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

You should not confuse your career with your life.

Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

Never lick a steak knife.

The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

Your friends love you anyway.

Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Funny Basics

The Truth About Nothing

Did we build this blocks only to break them down ?
Did we take a Thousand pictures only to burn them all?
Did we hold on so tight to something that was lost?
Did we take for granted the freedom we always dreamt of?
Did we empty our hearts out only to feel our deafening silence screaming at us?
Did i give what i wanted only to miss really giving u what u needed??
Are we gonna end a journey we have not even started?
Should we give up on our only choice of happiness because we are sad?
Do we keep fighting a war without shielding our interests?
If we fall down, do we stand and continue or do we stand and turn around just to give up on same road we once crossed to save a life?